A Personal Challenge

some good advice i'd also like to comment on. i feel like you do a good job of this but it was good for me to hear/read. many many people focus on "getting" someone to like them or who to be so people will like them... we decide where to go, how to act, what to wear, what to spend our time on, what to eat, all based on how we want others to see us or what we think others will accept. Of course it is a blanket statement, but to varying degrees, i think we do all do this. the point is, true happiness doesn't come from other people. true comfort with yourself doesn't come from acceptance. it comes from inside yourself. when you are comfortable with yourself and like yourself and accept yourself no holds barred, no one can bring you down or embarrass you or exclude you from where you want to be. I really believe that. So, what you want to look for in others is simply how they make you feel about yourself. Someone you can express even 'dumb' ideas to, be silly around, have bad hair days, feel supported by, encouraged by, do all your favorite things, not feel like you must dress a certain way or act a certain way to keep their affection... anyway, that's what you're looking for. Some of it comes from building a good sense of self to act as a foundation (and bravo us for giving us time in our early 20s to do that rather than marrying off and losing out on getting to know ourselves on our own) and some of it comes from finding someone who truly likes you for you... EMPOWERMENT!

I've actually been in a relationship where I felt the need to change in order for my boyfriend to accept or approve of me, which was bad I know... and in hindsight, we both acknowledged that what attracted him to me in the first place were all the things that I ended up sacrificing, my quirks, my independence, my goofiness, etc etc. Relationship failed, I was not happy, he was not happy, one of the morals: duh.

So, in light of all this common sense revelation... I dedicate this week to me. When I get dressed, I'm dressing in what feels good to me, not what I think will fit in or what I think will impress or whatever odd thoughts might pop in my head (this probably won't be the hard part)... I'm going to evaluate my plans for the week and not do anything that I really don't want to do. I have obligations like work of course that don't count (haha). I'm going to eat what will make me feel good, and make time to get it. Etc etc, exercise, paint, sew etc etc. Basically just putting it in writing so I am more motivated to stick to it. I default to giver and pleaser in life... and I should work on that. Fact.