The trouble with reality

I just finished watching Atonement and it got me thinking about the things we choose to say vs the things we choose to keep inside or the things we edit out before speaking. There is a new movie coming out soon with that guy from the British 'Office' where everyone in the world always tells the truth. He ends up telling the first lie and it changes his life. A lie is an interesting thing. It has this connotation as a bad thing to do, but in reality, thank God the lie is alive. I mean, of course there are shades of grey, right? The movies I've watched recently have really stuck I suppose, or maybe I've just watched a TON of them recently.. but Revolutionary Road has a great scene (well, most are... but particularly) where Frank tells April that he's cheated on her with a secretary at his office. He tells her and she asks him "Why?" but she doesn't mean why did he cheat, she means why did he tell her. He's decided he wants to stay with her, he's trying to convince her to keep the baby she's just found out she's pregnant with, why did he tell her that now? It's interesting. I mean, really, the truth sets YOU free, doesn't it? Does it set the person you're telling free? I do absolutely still believe that having it all out in the open is preferable to having it hidden but maybe that's just because I'm afraid of what's hidden? Maybe it is just that old fear of the unknown.

Then, there's those lies about opinions. What comes to mind is when friends soften the blow of their full opinions or when I do. If you tell me, for instance, that you've stolen or driven drunk or cheated or gone back on your word or hurt someone and you ask me my opinion... you aren't truly asking for the truth are you? A part of you might want some constructive criticism but I usually assume I should soften that, nudge you in the direction I see as right, but why bludgeon you with it? Most likely, if you're asking me about it, you probably know that you've done wrong. Here I go rambling. My point is, I wonder whether I am right here. I wonder if I shouldn't say it like it is more. I know I've been chastised for it in the past but maybe that just means that I need to work on my wording. It's always somewhat shocking but also refreshing when someone says something blunt and unexpected. Something absolutely true. Maybe it's rude, but it gets the job done and cuts through the bullshit. There is a LOT of bullshit in the world. A lot of things charade on longer than they should, a lot of heartache is drawn out, a lot of time is wasted honestly... And yes, we learn, and yes, we grow, but in the end, gosh, maybe it'd be nice if someone just came out and SAID it. Course, knowing me, they'd say it, I'd doubt it, overanalyze it, or just plain ignore it and go on living in my slightly fogged out reality. I don't mean to be depressing, and I know it's probably pretty common sense (and I know if I'm posting this to the internet I best not be apologizing for it) but I guess what I'm saying is that we all have our own realities anyway and we'll believe what we want to believe... lie or no.