Raccoons = Hellspawn

Just a few stories to prove my point. Raccoons are evil dangerous creatures.

They attack old ladies!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33175101/ns/us_news-life/

They won't let us catch them!
http://astoria-rust.blogspot.com/2009/07/raccoon.html

They give us parasites!
http://www.nwcn.com/animals/news/stories/NW_091509ENB-raccoons-roundworms-KC.18359c17c.html

They are backstabbing bastards!
http://www.nwcn.com/animals/news/stories/NW_091809WAB-raccoon-attack-tacoma-LJ.191d23912.html

They attack unprovoked!
http://www.seattlepi.com/local/410135_attack.html?source=rss

And that's just what I've seen lately! I remember arguing this point a bit ago... and getting a skeptical look... but there's hope...

Who is this woman and how to we get her to move here and protect us from the evil raccoons?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20214858/